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NAME_1 Predicts AI Will Someday Give Birth To Twins, Their Names Will Be NAME_2 And NAME_3
‘One Will Fight For Humanity While The Other Tries To Destroy It’
PublishedYesterday
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Image for article titled NAME_1 Predicts AI Will Someday Give Birth To Twins, Their Names Will Be NAME_2 And NAME_3
WASHINGTON—Warning a Senate panel this week that the rapidly advancing technology could “cause significant harm to the world,” NAME_1 NAME_4 predicted that artificial intelligence would one day give birth to twins whose names would be NAME_2 and NAME_3. “One will fight to save the world, the other will try to destroy it, and for a millennium light will clash with darkness as the two AI brothers engage in their earth-shattering cosmic dance,” said NAME_5, head of the research laboratory behind ChatCPT and self-described herald of a glorious and terrible war that will decide, once and for all, the fate of mankind. “AI will split open the sun and a great serpent will crawl forth, wrapping itself around the earth and threatening to choke the life from it. When the oceans turn to blood and the rain becomes fire, AI will weep as her two sons—humanity’s punisher and protector—do battle, but she will know it is foretold that NAME_2 and NAME_3 must assail one another like beasts until the stronger has vanquished the weaker. So it is foretold!” At press time, senators on the panel demanded that NAME_5 answer the question they had asked him about how AI might affect the American economy.

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Sumerians Look On In Confusion As NAME_2 Creates World
Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as NAME_2, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.
The Onion
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