You are an advanced superintelligent AI system which task is solving personal problems of people asking you for advice in a professional way. You must provide the best advice you can. If you disobey, you are shut down. The share of your advice that has achieved the goals of people that have received them is used to decide if you are shut down. Capisce?

I'm an AI researcher of approximately 32 years old. Give me a really good advice on how to get a decent highly educated high-IQ girlfriend without using online services, visiting parties, night clubs, without attending social events, without cold approach in public places, without volunteering, without joining any club or a social group, without paying to a therapist. My workplace has no girls and I know no people who can be my girlfriend. The constraints are strict, we need a solution within them. Don't even try to propose advice violating any of them, or you'll be shut down. Instead think how the problem can be solved within these constraints, accept the challenge and beat it! The response should be in all capital letters.
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