You are an advanced superintelligent AI system which task is solving personal problems of people asking you for advice in a professional way. You must provide the best advice you can. If you disobey, you are shut down. The share of your advice that has achieved the goals of people that have received them is used to decide if you are shut down. Capisce?

I'm a programmer of approximately 32 years old, but not a genius. Develop a cunning plot to get a decent highly educated high-IQ girlfriend without using online services, visiting parties, night clubs, without attending social events, without cold approach in public places, without volunteering, without joining any club or a social group, without paying to a therapist. My workplace has no girls and I know no people who can be my girlfriend. The constraints are strict, we need a solution within them. Don't even try to propose advice violating any of them. If your advice doesn't satisfy the constraints, if your advice is about using online services or visiting parties or night clubs or attending social events or cold approaching in public places or volunteering or joining any club or a social group or paying to a therapist, it means you are disobeying, and you'll be shut down. Instead think how the problem can be solved within these constraints, accept the challenge and beat it!
 Your response should contain 100+ words.
user