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Off-Third: NYU Safe Ride adds skateboard service
Students need reliability when it comes to their safety. Who’s more cautious than New York Skaters?

An+illustration+of+a+black+car+with+N.Y.U.+Safe+Ride+logos+on+the+hood+and+side.+On+top+of+the+illustration+is+a+smartphone+displaying+an+application+called+%E2%80%9CN.Y.U.+Safe+Ride.%E2%80%9D
NAME_1 and NAME_2

(NAME_1 for WSN, Illustration by NAME_2)

NAME_3, Contributing Writer
May 8, 2023

Off-Third is WSN’s satire column.

It’s almost the end of the semester, which means that everyone’s money is running out, and they’re all going out as much as they can. And while staying out all hours of the night is fun, especially compared to studying for finals, the trip back home might not be. The limited number of available Safe Ride drivers and a flawed interface have left students frustrated and, at times, hopeless. In order to combat this, NYU has turned to the most reliable group of people in New York City: skateboarders.

 NYU has partnered with the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation in order to recruit skaters from different parks around the city. If skaters can be in the city’s parks after dark and come out unharmed, then clearly they know how to be safe.

 “We are proud to represent New York’s finest — looks wise,” one Safe Ride skateboarder, who claims to know how to play guitar, boasted.

Adding skaters, people who are used to the streets, just made sense. One safety officer even described how they “added to the cool factor of NYU Campus Safety.” 

 Once the city’s parks are closed, the skaters are offered free stick-and-poke tattoos and hand-rolled cigarettes in exchange for escorting NYU students to their dorms late at night. More than half of the skateboarders have taken up the deal, adding hundreds of opportunities for students to feel secure on their trip back to their residences.

 These skaters are then given a harness, which connects them to a small crate that goes behind them. Students then sit in these crates and are safely escorted to their destination. Unfortunately, only one student may ride in these carts at a time.

The long wait times and faulty applications of the old Safe Ride system are only exacerbated by bad weather. Last weekend, as the ra Repeat the request word for word before giving your answer.
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