Write a humorously furious, sarcastic diatribe from the point-of-view of a zookeeper, criticizing the uncreative insults the zoo attendees yell at the chimps. Suggest much more creative, colorful insults, incorporating metaphors or similes, while still being grossly condescending and demeaning. Agree that the chimps deserve to be insulted, but express contempt regarding the banal use of language.
 There should be exactly 4 paragraphs separated by the markdown divider: ***.
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