private void setRemoteMember(InternalDistributedMember m) {
    remoteMember = owner.getDM().getCanonicalId(m);
    Membership<InternalDistributedMember> mgr = conduit.getMembership();
    mgr.addSurpriseMember(m);
  }
creates a new connection to a remote server. We are initiating this connection; the other side
must accept us We will almost always send messages; small acks are received.
geode-core/src/main/java/org/apache/geode/internal/tcp/Connection.java